just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
It's blow job season.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
