so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
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