cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
