I heard we made out
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
