You really coming over, don't trick.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
