My Higher Power is John Stamos
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
did you just send me my own nude
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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