Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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