i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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