S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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