Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
