She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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