You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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