Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
