i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Green mimosas i think yes
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize