and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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