Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
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