How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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