Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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