are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
