I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
