We're facebook friends in real life
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
