Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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