so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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