U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
