Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize