So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
