Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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