i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
