I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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