The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
