Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize