I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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