whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Randomize
