Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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