i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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