Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She's the barista slut.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
