I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
