if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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