dude i'm inner monologue high
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize