it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
