wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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