garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Randomize
