I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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