that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
