Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
