I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
