ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
