Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
