i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
