I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize