People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
