Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize