u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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