dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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