Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
