hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My brain says no but my pants say off.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
