if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
