U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
