I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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