Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize