I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
