i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize