College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
