So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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