3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹ï¸
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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