eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We had to coat check the pizza.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
