plz talk dirty to me
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
her vagine was all disorganized.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize