I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Come share oat with me in your robe
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize