he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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