I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
