I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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